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(I hope you read that title in the Comic Book Guy voice from the Simpsons. I know you did, because you are my people.)

So I had my PET scan today (finally) and it was just awful. I never get worried or upset about scans themselves, since they usually are not too invasive, but I swear the people doing mine today were brand new at the job. By far the worst part was that it took the tech 3 tries to get the IV in (and yes, my veins are not great, but REALLY they are not that bad). She even asked me on the third one if I usually bruised up quickly, and I wanted to tell her “Only when the person doing the IV doesn’t know what they are doing,” because that is the God’s honest truth. I bruised up HORRIBLY with an inexperienced phlebotomist. As a bonus, all 3 sites are now very painful. I confess, I didn’t make it easy on her, swearing when she put the first one in (because it hurt like a mother), then proceeding to cry for all the rest of them because they all hurt so badly. Thank God for this port. Apparently they can access the port for PET scans if they schedule it ahead of time. (I do confess that I’m still a bit nervous about using the port and if that will hurt at all too).

So then after the IVs from hell, they put me in the scanner. They strap my arms down, then leave for like 10 minutes. Chica comes back and says she needs my arms a little tighter. Awesome, except that all these IV pokes now hurt like a bitch when she tightens the straps. Whee. So then I wait some more and they finally start it. It’s all going OK and then suddenly the blankets they put over me start to get stuck in the machine and begin to pull and pull at me. I am totally immobilized thanks to the straps and have to yell at them to come stop it (it started to really pull and I started to get a bit scared). They fix the blankets and then I wait some more. Finally it starts again. While I’m getting the scan, the doors must have opened and shut honestly at least 20 times. This was SO weird to me because I have NO idea why in the hell they would have to go in and out so much (the scanner is in a portable trailer outside the main Kaiser building and there is max of 2 patients in there at a time). I know it sounds dumb, but it was really distracting and all I could think was that these young techs kept going out to get snacks or something. (It did NOT help that I was starving, having had to have fasted for 15 hours).

Eventually, it was over. The young, somewhat condescending tech led me out (even though I probably have had more PET scans than she has done), and I went home to eat.

Now all that’s left is waiting for results. Peter is optimistic, I am more pessimistic. As Peter said, results are usually a mixed bag, so we probably both will be a little bit right. Here’s hoping that he is far more right than me, though!

Anyone else have a bad day?