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I was supposed to have a port placed and a PET scan done last week, but I was a total dodo head and forgot to fast (HOW many of these have I done? How could I forget?). So those ones had to be scrapped and we rescheduled for today.

I was mostly worried about the port placement because it was done under twilight anesthesia, and I was worried I was going to feel everything (I have to have a PICC line redone and it hurt like a beeyotch through the whole procedure, so I was expecting a redo of that one. Before I get going too much further, let me explain a port to those who have been lucky enough not to have experience with one. It’s basically a very small, um… object? placed just under the skin in the chest that connects to the jugular vein and gets close to the heart, allowing docs and nurses access to draw blood, give me infusions (such as the Keytruda I’m on now), apparently give me nutrition if I need it (woah!) and other things. Basically, it means no more IVs!!! It also has advantages over the PICC line in that it does not need to be cleaned and re-dressed, the risk of infection is very low, and it is very unobtrusive compared to the PICC. Mostly, hooray for no more IVs!

So anyway, I was a little nervous about the port placement, so I took a lorazapam for nausea, which has the wonderful bonus of ACTUALLY being an anti-anxiety drug (docs use it off label for nausea). I was feeling very nice and a little bit sleepy when it was time, which was perfect. Also, I remembered to fast this time! Hooray! They wheeled me back to the procedure room and I immediately felt even more at ease because the prep team was just cracking hilarious jokes about the music (all ’80s, all the time) and it just made me feel better. I thought they were still doing prep/set up stuff when they told me I was done and it was time to go! Wonderful!

I went home and took a good nap. Then and now, my neck feels a bit sore, but that really can’t be too surprising. I’m taking some pain meds when it gets really bad, but I can gut it out for the most part.

I still had to fast because I had my PECT/CT scan at 2:30, so that was kind of a bummer. Then, at about one or so, I get a phone call saying that the CT scanner was broken! Boo! This meant that my PET/CT scan will now have been delayed almost 2 and a half weeks from the original time! I’m kind of happy (I’d rather live another week not knowing what kind of bad news I’m going to get) and kind of bummed (I have to fast AGAIN? And another afternoon appointment, meaning fasting a really long time?). We “celebrated” by going immediately over to Red Robin, even though I really only ate by enormous shake.

So there’s our update as it stands. Half good, half not so great, but you have to roll with the punches in this crazy adventure.

How about you all? Anyone have anything unexpected happen today on Cinco de Mayo?

*My title is a little inside joke for others who loved the movie Auntie Mame (NOT the one with Lucille Ball).