On Thursday, I’ll get round 2 of the Yervoy. I’m a tiny bit apprehensive about this, mainly because the docs and nurses said that most people start to get more significant side effects after the second dose, as things start building up in the body. I just have to keep reminding myself that some side effects are actually a *good* sign that my body is responding to the drug.

So far, I had that one day of significant fatigue, then the itchy red bumps (a few of which are still there, feeling like bug bites), and now some moderate intestinal things. None of which are terrible, really, not at all, but the thought of them getting significantly worse makes me a little scared. We’ll see!

I know it’s unrealistic to expect to have zero side effects. I mean, this is freaking cancer treatment, after all. It’s just hard because the nurses and doctors sometimes talk as if there are no side effects, because compared to chemo (which they usually see), this stuff is normally a cake walk. It’s still just no zero, you know? On the other hand, there can be some potentially life-threatening complications from this stuff, so I do need to be on my toes.

This round will also be interesting because I’m flying to Orlando to present at our profession’s national conference about 2 weeks after I get my infusion. I’m SO glad it’s not the week after, but I still have no idea how I’ll be feeling. I’m bound and determined to make the most of my time there (I’ll be going to Universal to visit Harry Potter-land!!!), and there are so many conference sessions that I want to go to. I really hope that I am feeling well enough to do what I want to do.

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Our garden is finally, finally done (except kale and chard, so… not done?). As usual, I have loved almost every moment of it, except until the very end when it was just too much produce to handle at once. Our warm fall meant non.stop.tomatoes. Which is really lovely, until you are faced with 25+lbs of tomatoes every week (maybe… I didn’t weigh, but it was really a lot). I gave some away, we ate tons, and my mom and I canned a huge amount. As much as I adore my garden, I am a little relieved when it’s all done. I love the growing and the harvesting, not so much the prepping, cooking and preserving.

I want to do a big long post with all of my “lessons learned” for next year. It’s possible no one may read it, but I’ll appreciate it next spring!

A side note: this is really remarkable progress in my thinking. For the past 3 years, I had a really hard time planning my garden much more than a month ahead, because I always thought “what if?” Now that “what if” has happened, and I am Stage IV, I realize that life truly does not end at diagnosis. I feel exactly as I did before I had my surgery, and almost better than ever. So now I don’t have any hesitation in planning my garden for next year. Yes, there is the thought in my mind that life may take another hard left, but that can happen at any moment. Even if (God forbid) I am not here for some planting season in the future, I hope that Emmie and Peter can look to my notes and observations to help guide their decisions about planting and gardening, and I hope that they might continue this even a little bit in the future (even though neither of the eat many veggies, ha!).

RIP Veggie Garden. I look forward to starting anew in the spring.